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Is This Awake?

by dodola

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1.
Pull Me Back In 05:20
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please give me back delusion loving Messenger of night well hidden now illusions illumination full rushed heartbeat will I be left as they cry the call aloud come in will I come quick as the words pass from your lips what have I lost these closed eyes see nothing but vacant hollow silent voice inside the shadow is this the love that I’ve lost reaching my arms out opening eyes it fades away is this awake? I have been stolen backward tricked to returning my heart where I was staying seems so far away and now I’ve escaped to where they place the lifeless now I know my hands begin to grow my hands begin to reach my hands begin to feel again as we grow our arms begin to ache as loads begin to break the strength we keep hidden within all I have is a short moment by your skin the time was ripped out of my hands was it ever yours to give I forget to cherish tender soft embrace a gentle hand upon my waist as feet hover above the ground now I know my hands begin to grow my hands begin to reach my hands begin to feel again nightfall what have you taken when every day is lost while you've been sleepless pull me back in pull me back in
2.
Tie Me Down 04:54
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I swear you’re scared of the sun you think of me as light is that why you’ve been running from a requested feeling of requited feeling I swear you’re here waiting take these eyes right from me if you wanted to see me now you can see movements echo I can't recognize the signs one kiss till you're mine I'll wait our lips never meet awake and all I’m met with is a shapeless figure black darkened terror hiding waiting for the siren to call me in can’t recall what they sound like their song a distorted memory tie ropes around to try and stop me movements echo I can't recognize the signs one kiss till you're mine I'll wait our lips never meet awake unending siren song deliver darkness to the ship that I’m on un-tie ropes deliver dark upon me take the rope around me tie me down deliver darkness to this ship another day of boredom waiting wanting deliver darkness to this ship
3.
Remember This Feeling 03:01
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memories from when I was young taken away the same as I’m growing older I can’t remember what does this mean these things from these dreams to keep them - remember this piece that’s quickly fading remember the taste of something that’s sweet I cannot remember this feeling I can't recall the place and time where we’ll meet was it said to me loud enough to hear when I get to that place give promises to me and wait don’t run just stay and you’ll see that being nowhere is exactly where we’re meant to be restless and waiting alone come end this the air is empty breathless restless and waiting alone come end this the air gives me a feeling remember all that you’ve known a taste of something that’s sweet I cannot remember waiting I can't recall what was said the place and time where we’ll meet was it said out loud to me please lay there wait there stay there lay there wait there stay there lay there nowhere
4.
The Cracks in the Pavement 02:37
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wait another moment stuck inside a dream a familiar feeling of being trapped in memory feeling weighed down anaesthetic uncontrolled in my blood try to move your legs while they're tied down in sheets please untie me falling every night falling toward a field of memory a graveyard of a past life the cracks in the pavement growing closer floating through a graveyard I'm a ghost it's been a lifetime the cracks in the ceiling match the marks on the sidewalk if I am a ghost then why do memories haunt just me? the cracks in the pavement match the marks on the headstones (blegh) an unending cycle I'm falling no sound of the siren I was running up the sidewalk while the pavement was crumbling there was nothing underneath it as my mouth filled with concrete I was awakened the taste still lingers pavement why does it taste sweet? rinse my mouth and pull out my teeth they're sharp to hold in my hands but my arms are reaching
5.
Is This Awake? 03:29
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I've been awake Is this awake? is this awake? hear the sound that my heart beats for you beats over and over again thinking that's it's been trapped in silence while we've both we've both relocated wrapped in the spaces left between places that we've been and places that we'll be does the sound that my heart beats for you just haunt me? is the blood that my heart bleeds for you not the same? in a garden wait for me safe away where we'll be meeting arms outstretched reaching as I'm running to meet you floating away as im reaching - is this it? is this awake?

credits

released October 28, 2022

proudly written, performed, mixed, and mastered at home in west oakland by clinton johnson

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dodola Oakland, California

dodola, perpuna, goddess of rain

Is This Awake? EP out now

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